Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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