we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
