At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
