Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
