she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
