Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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