butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
