just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
