the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
