My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
