Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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