Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
