I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
