you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
are you so shy because you have an std?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize