Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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