well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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