i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
