sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
