The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
