Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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