**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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