sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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