He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
