I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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