someone owes me an orgasm
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
