Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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