Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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