heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
