Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
