at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
