While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
