i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
