oh god the rape fog is back!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
