I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
