yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
