Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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