my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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