I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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