dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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