shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
