I CAN MOONWALK!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
