when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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