come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
