No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
