You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
