Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
