well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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