Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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