what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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