i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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