I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
