I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
